The Prodigal Son of Man
The article on Prophecies Re: He Who Fulfills Them cites many prophecies in the Judeo-Christian scriptures that are relevant to the life and ways of the modern son of man, and when you consider those prophecies in that new light, you can see why he is a prodigal son of man.
That is why the prophet Jesus of Nazareth foresaw and foretold that the future son of man would "first be rejected by his generation and suffer many things," because Jesus was not talking about himself. He, after all, was accepted by multitudes and suffered only on the last day of his life.
Furthermore, it is a why a preceding prophet, Isaiah, also foresaw and foretold that the son of man who would fulfill prophecy now would be first stricken and afflicted; that he would not make his voice heard as an orator; that he would be "hidden in the shadow of God’s hand"; that he would deliver his work before him only to have rejection cause him to fear it was all in vain; and that he would be contrite of spirit because he has been judged as covetous and willful.
Therefore, it is appropriate to tell the story of how and why that is the case. However, this story is told not to exalt the modern son of man as the Divine Authority, but to confirm that he is authorized, chosen and sent by the Divine Authority, which is God in heaven, to deliver the prophesied judgment from the Spirit of truth. He speaks of himself not as The Holy One, but as a witness, servant and messenger for The Holy One who sent him.
He was stricken and afflicted and he suffers, but not only for the transgressions and iniquities of his people, as Isaiah put it. He confesses it is also because of the karmic consequences of his own vain folly. And he is a man of sorrows and well acquainted with grief because of his own state, as well as the state of the world, because he is a fellow companion in tribulation. He is one of us, and he is well acquainted with grief and sorrow.
He has been rather like a sheep in a world where wolves in sheep's clothing run freely and out of control. That's why he was instructed to be as harmless as a dove but as wise as a serpent, and deliver the message from behind the scenes. That’s what he has been doing for decades.
His mission is to show you things to come and guide you to the truth, but it is also to rebuke the wrongdoers and the hypocrites who feign religiosity. And he has done it anonymously because it was predictable that his critics would accuse him, denounce him as a deceptive heretic, and try to discredit him, at the very least.
He has been aware for a very long time what he was getting his self into. He understands why those he rebukes feel defensive and angry, because while he has been instructed to target this message appropriately, he has also been instructed to make it firm and strong, and not lukewarm.
However, because he is and will be criticized, it should be said that there is a very good reason why Jesus of Nazareth said that those who speak against a son of man may be forgiven, but those who speak against the Spirit of truth shall not be forgiven.
What comes from the Spirit of truth is the truth, especially with regard to eternal, universal truths, and the fulfillment of prophecy. However, a son of man is merely a servant of God, and even though he is the chosen representative and messenger for the Spirit of truth, he is not infallible. He is only human.
Even though a son of man must issue judgment, as he has judged, so he has been judged. And he must face and confess his weaknesses, his fallibility, and his sins.
This is not without precedent. For a son of man is actually a man of conscience, and can speak as the conscience of his people only because he allows his own conscience to show him how fallible he is himself. That is why he emphasizes that he serves the will of the One who sent him, and points out that only our God in heaven is worthy of our worship.
You see, Isaiah and Jesus were very accurate in their prophecies about the modern son of man, even though those prophecies have been misinterpreted and misunderstood. Therefore, he tell us a bit about his life so you will know more of the story and understand how and why he says "I am what I am."
He was born in the Far West of the United States in early March of 1941, when very powerful warlords who ruled Germany and Japan were threatening to conquer and rule the whole world by force of arms.
His family was not religious, but they observed Christian traditions and holidays. He was very aware that his maternal grandparents were devout Christians, because his grandfather was a soloist in the church choir and he attended services often to hear him sing. However, as a youth he was not aware of his paternal grandparent’s religion. He had assumed it was Christian since they observed Christmas. But when he was 35 years old after his father died, he discovered that his grandfather was a Freemason, and probably a Unitarian Universalist, which came as news.Despite the wars in the 1940s, '50s and '60s, as a child, youth and young man, he lived what many would call a charmed life. Even though he was born into a family of very modest means, he had what he needed and nearly everything he really wanted.
As a child and youth he suffered from shyness, but he began to gradually overcome it as he became a young man. And, since he was well liked, musically and athletically talented, he enjoyed a lot of successes and accomplishments. As an academic student, however, he tended to be, as they say, slothful and lazy. And his first experience at college was unproductive, hampered by his desire to socialize.
But, his favorite thing as a child, youth and young man was being at the lake, boating, socializing, backpacking in the wilderness, trout fishing, water skiing, and in the winter snow skiing. He was an all American boy.
He was extremely fortunate that he was able to go to that mountain lake, but was because his family had a little cabin there, which his paternal grandfather had bought in the 1930s. His grandfather was a city policeman and an avid fisherman and hunter, and also loved the lake. He grew up spending most of his summers there.
He had many friends there, and unlike his family, most of his friends were wealthy. Their parents were mostly professional people — teachers, doctors, lawyers, professors, psychologists, etc., and some were wealthy industrialists. (And most of his friends there later became professionals as well.) He loved them all. He knew and saw many extremely wealthy people at their best, when they were on vacation, enjoying life, and he saw them as good people – as most of them were..
In 1962 he was about to be drafted into the Army, so he joined the Marine Corps. In 1964 at age 23, while in the service, he "married up," to the daughter of a wealthy corporate attorney. (Her family also had a cabin at the lake, which is where they met.)
In 1966, during his last year in the Corps, he earned the rank of Sergeant and was the assistant director of the band at his last duty station. He would lead the band to the flag pole every morning and direct them playing the Star Spangled Banner -- and he was proud of it.
At that time he also learned how to play the guitar to accompany myself singing. He sang in a number of inns, clubs and restaurants.
By 1969 at age 28 he had everything most men dream of. He had a beautiful wife, and, thanks to his wife’s money from her father, he had a nice home, a summer vacation cabin of their own on the lake, a boat, and nearly everything else he wanted. And by that time he was a senior in college with a 3.4 grade point average, having finally applied himself in his studies, with plans to be a music teacher.
But, it was just then in 1969 that he felt that romantic love had let him down, even though he confesses he was mostly at fault for creating the conditions that ruined the marriage. With hindsight, he saw that he was indirectly partly responsible, but he blamed his wife for it, and he used a convenient, justifiable excuse to excuse to leave her. He was hurt, more deeply than he thought at the time. But he confesses he was somewhat hypocritical about it. He knew there were two sides to the story, but he thought only of himself, and at that time he didn't care that he was hurting her by getting a divorce.
In the late 1960s he was very attracted to the Hippie life style — not the superficial, pretentious one, but the genuinely honest, loving, giving, natural, free spirit life style. And he dreamed of greener pastures not only romantically and sexually, but also in the sense that he wanted to live more simply and more close to nature. He was very aware of what was happening in San Francisco and Woodstock, and he had tried and liked Marijuana. (As is explained in the article on The Plant of Renown, he did a lot of research and learned the truth about it, and could see how and why it was so popular among creative, loving people – like poets, artists and musicians who used it to good advantage.) So, he threw everything away to pursue his dreams, one of which was to sing for a lot of people, and another was to live simply, on a houseboat.
However, in 1971, when he was thirty years old, his life changed profoundly, in a way he did not expect.
He fortuitously realized the nature of divine, universal love (as distinguished from romantic love for a personal mate). Amazingly, that revelation triggered greater revelations, and he later learned that it opened the door to the opening of the "seven seals" of revelation and the "seven chakras," which culminated in his being carried away in spirit to that high and holy place where God inhabits eternity, into the Divine Light of God, where God’s "Book of Life" was opened to him.
He had been drawn up in spirit, out of his body, right into what many have called the "Light at the end of the tunnel." But he found the "tunnel" to be more like a funnel, through which he started from the bottom, small end, and then was drawn up, spiraling and expanding in spiritual consciousness and being, until he went right up into the Infinite Eternal Divine Light-Energy-Source-Essence of our existence. And thus he become one with the Supreme Universal Cosmic Consciousness, which is God by any other name.
He reports that he was in a realm of exceedingly bright, shimmering light, and he later understood it was the primordial vibration or "Word" of God, which was in the beginning, which was with God and is God. It is the Divine Light and unspeakable Word of God, which is made flesh in all of us. It is what gives life and consciousness to every spark and fiber of our being. And he felt and absorbed the truly awesome, totally overwhelming ecstacy and knowingness of God.
He did not hear any voice, or see any figure or entity, or any image or form, apparently because God did not want him to associate the Divine Holy One with any person, any gender, or any certain religion, but only with the Universal Consciousness of Divine Truth, Peace and Love.
Following that, he started out on a path of learning and examining the world’s religions and spiritual teachings, to try to fathom what he had witnessed, and the gift he had been given.
His first spiritual teacher was Stephen Gaskin, an American who wrote a book called Monday Night Class in 1970, and founded The Farm spiritual community a couple of years later. (Stephen wasn’t at all political back then, and the Hippies who followed him were focused on living in harmony with the earth and their fellow man. But, like the son of man, after the misguided Christian Right began to take over American politics in the 1980s, Stephen eventually began to offer his observations on politics, and now he has a lot to say about it.)
Another teacher was Baba Ram Dass, who wrote Be Here Now, published by the Lama Foundation, which also published the book titled Seed. Both those books were fascinating to the son of man and made a big impression, because they recognized the universality of the teachings of the greatest religious figures of history.
Another teacher was Paramansa Yogananda, who wrote Autobiography of a Yogi and founded the Self-Realization Fellowship in America in the 1920s. He too understood the teachings of Jesus, in a Hindu context -- and he learned his method of Hatha Yoga and Raja Yoga.
Another teacher was Paul Foster Case, an American Freemason (like George Washington, Benjamin Franklin and the messenger's paternal grandfather). Case founded The Builders of the Adytum (B.O.T.A.), which offers correspondence lessons seekers of truth. (Adytum means "Inner Shrine," and the teaching order recognizes universal truths, symbolized in the ageless wisdom teachings derived from the ancient mystical root of Judaism and Christianity.)
He studied many others teachings as well. Names that he mentions are John Lilly, Meher Baba, and Black Elk. But there were many others, and in more recent years he read books by Karen Armstrong, Marcus Borg and John Dominic Crossan, who are members of the prestigious Jesus Seminar, a group of progressive Christian scholars.
All these teachers gave him a more full idea of what alternative views there were and are, besides the traditional American Christian view that he was raised with, as was portrayed in Hollywood movies in the 1950s, and has been pushed and imposed upon us for the last 30 years by the American Christian Right.
His studies eventually and ultimately confirmed that the same eternal, essential, universal truths are common to all religions, and it confirmed how and why all the greatest spiritual teachers throughout history were in tune with the same Divine Light, the same Great Spirit and Supreme Consciousness of eternal, universal truth and divine love that he had directly witnessed, felt, absorbed, and savored — which many people also call the Lord God, Jehovah, Yahweh, Brahman, The Absolute Tao, Ahura Mazda, Allah, Wakan Tanka, among many other names.
It was a time when the seeds of the coming New Reformation were planted, when a good many young Americans were learning about the universal truths that are at the core of every religion – much like had happened in America in the late 1700s and very early 1800s, thanks to the Founding Father’s insistence on freedom of religion and freedom from theocracy. (Unfortunately, as is discussed in the article on Ignored American History, it wasn’t long before the intent of the Founding Fathers was ignored.)
During the first few years following his spiritual rebirth, he wanted to learn and study the spiritual and religious works of man because he realized that what he had absorbed emotionally and spiritually was far too overwhelming to grasp intellectually. That is why he set out on a path of intellectual and academic learning.
But, the more he grew in his knowledge of religions, religious traditions and esoteric spiritual teachings, the more he came to think that he could not learn very much about God from them. He felt that all he could learn from men was what they thought of God, and he already knew what God is.
But, after a few years, he mistakenly thought he didn't need more education and guidance. He thought he was totally free and continually blessed, but he realizes now, with hindsight, that he gradually become foolish and unwittingly covetous and willful in the sight of God.
Anyway, between 1971 and 1974, he sang in a number of clubs in his home town, and he enjoyed the rewards of my talent, especially from women. He had one steady girl friend for a coupls of years (who he pleased by shaving his beard off because she thought he was more handsome that way).
He performed sporadically for small audiences as he was finishing college, and after he graduated and earned a teaching credential he started working professionally in 1972 as an educator.
In early 1973 his girlfriend broke up with him because he was not exclusive with his affections, and after they parted he grew his hair long and grew a beard again, and he reveled in the free love atmosphere.
But, even though he had so much going for him, materially and physically, it was not enough. He wanted to be able to return to God again, but he didn’t know how.
At that time he did not have the slightest idea that he had been called by God for a mission. In fact, as a psychologist friend of mine had told him in 1973, he had become too "enamored by enlightenment." He was in his own world, and he had not come back "down to earth" yet.In 1974, he left his job and his family and friends, and set out on a spiritual pilgrimage. He went to Mexico for awhile, where he became very ill and had a very profound vision. It was like a cloudy black and white movie showing the construction site of a big wooden ship. The keel had been laid and there were many ribs in place, and many people were busy in the building process. But he didn’t understand what it meant until about ten years later.
After recovering from his illness he left Mexico and went back to his home town, living in his old VW van until he found a job with a crawfisherman. He then got to stay on a small houseboat on a slough, a tributary off the river, just above the delta. And then he thought he found his true love, a beautiful younger woman with soulful eyes and a heart of gold.
In 1975, four years after he had witnessed God, he foolishly developed a misguided messianic complex and assumed that God had called him to be a great leader. So, at age thirty-four, he briefly tried to become the most powerful political leader in the world. But, of course, he failed. And he also lost his young lover, because his head was still in the clouds. He was completely self-absorbed and blind to how he was hurting another woman by leaving her.
He then became as a homeless ascetic, and began wandering rather aimlessly on foot, camping sometimes for awhile alongside rivers near the coast or in the valley.
Then his mother died, but he didn’t grieve. He just went off again, wandering, and he stayed for awhile with a couple of women who took him in. He went a lot of different places and did a lot of different things. He even worked a number of times as a migrant worker in orchards or tree farms, when he needed to buy something he needed.
But, he learned a lot during those years of traveling on foot. For example, he learned much about people, many different kinds of people, many of whom he would otherwise never have gotten to know. And he learned a very profound fact, that the poor, who have the least, are the most willing to share what they have with strangers. (But, this was in the mid-1970s when one could safely hitchhike in America, because it was just before the mentally ill began to be "released" from state hospitals and put out on the street, and before hitchhikers and homeless people were regarded with contempt and suspicion.)
In April 1976 he grew weary and tired of wandering and being homeless, and he was grieving for his mother even though he didn’t realize it. He was just lost and forlorn enough that he did something that seemed like a good idea at the time, but that led to his betraying a trust (as will be explained). And he continued his wandering in the wilderness, both literally and figuratively.
Then, in July 1977, while he was camping by a river, he was stricken and afflicted with a disabling disease and could no longer stand or walk, or even crawl. If two fishermen hadn’t found him, he would have died.
He was hospitalized for six months, confined to a wheelchair. But again he didn’t grieve. It was like he was not fazed at all, even though he could no longer stand or walk. In fact, even after being stricken so hard, it took about seven more years for him to really become a somewhat normal human being, mentally, and it took longer than that for him to really come back down to earth.
When he got out of the hospital in late 1977 he was given some help – and he was able to get a cheap old utility vehicle to travel and live in. A friend put hand controls in it, and so he floundered around for awhile, went out on the desert and car-camped along the Colorado River to fast for long while.
It was there by that river, all of a sudden, for the first time in his life, he was able to write his own songs. Even though he had lost the use of his legs, he had gained something he had wanted for a long time.
Then he traveled here and there from the coast to the mountains trying this and that to try to fit in somewhere. An old girl friend (who was from the lake and he had known since they were 15 years old) took him in for a few months and helped him get a little more organized and helped him get a small social security disability pension. She also gave him a portable typewriter and encouraged him to write and develop his music.
Then he found a little cabin near a remote little lake about a hundred miles north-west of his home town. It was affordable to him because it was off-season in the Winter, and he went through another long period of seclusion, fasting, meditation, more intense study, and singing and playing the guitar.
It was there, early in 1979, when through truly divine and rather miraculous guidance, he was shown and began to learn and understand the most crucial and relevant prophecies of Isaiah and Jesus, and he began to understand why he was stricken and afflicted.
That miracle was accompanied by another, because, at the same time, he was given a clear, unmistakable sign from God which confirmed what he was being shown in the Bible. The very night he began to receive miraculous guidance to key prophecies in the Bible, he happened to glance out the window and saw a gigantic five-pointed star (with a single point up, two to the side and two down, like arms and legs, the symbol of man), and it was shimmering exceedingly brightly with all the colors of the rainbow.
It was so incredibly huge that at first he thought it must have been an immense man-made structure, perhaps on the top of the mountain or hanging from a blimp or something. It seemed to be sort of linear, sort of like when you draw a five-pointed star with a continuous line.
To his surprise, however, when he went outside to see it more clearly, he saw that it was actually a giant star in the sky and not supported by anything. It was a heavenly body. It was so immense that he didn’t believe it could possibly be a star, but it was twinkling just like the regular stars, and he could see that some of them were also shimmering with all the colors of the rainbow in the same way (as can be seen sometimes on very cold, clear nights).
He just watched it for about an hour, and it moved across the sky just like all the other stars. It was there the next night too, only a little smaller, and after a few more nights it had gradually diminished to the same size as all the other stars.
By the way, we believe that star may be what has since been called "The Miracle Star Sign," which has appeared more recently, particularly since January 2009 (when he first made his songs available to hear on the Internet), to many people all over the world — but they’ve seen it as smaller, in different forms, and in different colors. (We assume how it is seen is in the eye of the beholder.)
Anyway, he says the 1979 miracles "went to my head," as was his bent, and he thought he was going to be a great guru with many devotees and gopis (women lovers). After all, since 1971 he had been drawn to and recognized more truth in esoteric and eastern spiritual teachings, which more obviously and rationally speak of the Divine Reality, and are more sensible about sex.
Of course, no one saw him as a guru. They only saw a man who had been "stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted," just as the prophet Isaiah foresaw.
Nevertheless, his discoveries of relevant bible prophecies showed him how and why Judaic "Old Testament" scriptures in the Bible confirm that "God is not a man, nor a son of man," that "God lives in Light," that "God is Light," that "besides God there is no Savior," that "the son of man is stricken and afflicted," and that he "is first rejected by his generation and suffers many things."
He learned why the Christ Jesus said he had to go away and be seen no more, but spoke of a coming son of man with the Spirit of truth. He learned why Jesus said to his disciples: "You have not heard God’s voice or seen God's shape at any time." All that and more confirmed what he already knew, because God was not made in our image. We are all made in God's image, as children of the Eternal Divine Light-Energy Source of our existence, the Supreme Universal Consciousness.
A few months later he moved from his home state to a place further North in the Pacific Northwest, and he went into a kind of exile. Fortunately, in 1979 a good woman took him in and loved him. He feels very fortunate, in that she is wise, good-hearted, loyal, and is usually understanding and forgiving.
For awhile, thanks to a small disability pension of $297 per month and her $400 per month wages, he was able to work on getting stronger. His upper body strength began to come back, and he was able to crawl around in the garden, work more on his music, and study and write.
Unfortunately, he stopped working on his music in 1984, because his heart wasn’t in it any more. He began to detest how so many people were being treated by their employers and their government, and he was incensed by what was happening to America.
He saw that much of the progress that was made in the 1960s toward more freedom, equal rights and fairness was being reversed by those who claimed to cherish freedom and equality, and even claimed to be patriotic and religious, but were actually pushing us backward.
He watched in horror as the spirit of greed, self-interest and deception began to overwhelm and overpower the spirit of truth, love, peace, and freedom -- all under the guise of "restoring religious values."
He was amazed that most Americans couldn’t see that the wool was being pulled over their eyes. Too many people were duped by all the flag waving, bible thumping and sword rattling, and they were completely fooled by those who appealed to hegemonic nationalism, and to the emotions, prejudices and egotism of proud but gullible people. And thus many Americans began to think it was okay to be intolerant of anyone who had differing beliefs regarding politics and religion.
So, he put his guitar away and began to concentrate on getting the message down in writing to try to expose such unfairness, bigotry and hypocrisy. He started writing articles, and then his first book. But, it took many years for him to fully understand and accept the responsibility of his mission. He was often filled with self-doubt for long periods of time, so it took a long for him to fully accept it.
He started learning how to operate a computer in 1990 when he cut his hair and trimmed his beard and went to work in a state human services office and began to learn word-processing software. For more than a decade following that he tried to have a book containing the earliest version of the message published, but was rejected.
In 1991, having received and developed the basic premise of the message and having produced his first manuscript that he felt might be worthy of being published, he was foolishly feeling very self-righteous. At that time, twenty years ago, his ego had not been as "pruned" by the Spirit of truth as it has been since. Back then he was not as aware of the fact that unless God builds your house, it is built in vain, and unless God does the work, it is done in vain. And he was not as aware of why Jesus said, "Of myself I do nothing, but the will of the One who sent me."
Rather, he was even more judgmental than he is now, and he let his judgmental attitude as a writer spill over into his private life. He ignored the factthat when it comes to family and loved ones, it is not always best to tell the truth to those who need to realize it, especially when it's not told in the spirit of love, compassion and good will. And, because he did it solely to scold and rebuke, he confesses he was wrong, and foolish. Even though he is steadfast in his principles, most of the time he has been able to separate his role as writer-messenger-judge from his private life, which has been relatively normal for the last two decades. And this story is told just to give you examples of what a fool he has been on occasions in his private life.
In fact, he feels duty bound to confess that during his lifetime, at one time or another, he has done many things of which he is ashamed. He has been guilty of theft, adultery, betrayal, desertion, violation of legal commitment, willfulness, carelessness, and covetousness — which is why he is a contrite, prodigal son.
Anyway, to get back to the story, learning how to operate a computer and get on the Internet enabled him to really get serious about his writing. He improved his first manuscript and submitted it to many publishers and agents, and while one agent tried to help him, no publisher was interested..
Finally, in 2002 he learned that he could self-publish his books, and between 2002 and 2006 he published five of them under a pen name, and he also started publishing highlights of the message electronically over the World Wide Web and Internet under the same pen name. (By the way, as of December 21, 2010 he no longer uses that pen name. And this new site has been revised, and we hope improved. That's important, so it too can be seen in a flash, like "lightning seen from one part under heaven to all others," as Jesus said it would be. But he didn’t understand the "lightning" part of the prophecies until recently.)
He did that even though he knew that his work would be rejected by his generation, and he knew he would suffer many more things, as the prophets Isaiah and Jesus had foreseen and foretold. But he didn’t know how long he would be rejected, how much he would suffer, or from how much more.
In addition to being a paraplegic confined to a wheelchair, the worst and most life-threatening things he suffers from are coronary artery disease and congestive heart failure. He suffers many other things in addition, like a lot of things with names ending in "itis," like arthritis and bursitis. But his life has been prolonged many times during the last 33 years, as the prophet Isaiah said it would be. That is thanks to much good medicine, both prescribed and alternative, and also by seven surgeries (so far), modern medical treatment, and a heart pacemaker.
His suffering has brought him back down to earth, but the weight he's carrying has broken him in many ways. During the last two years he has suffered severe setbacks, because his ego and his body are being attacked and his heart is broken — both literally and figuratively.
But, even so, he knows it is natural for the forces of this world and universe to knock self-righteous, self-important people down from the tower of egotism. Unfortunately, his duty and mission of delivering judgment has resulted in his perching on the top of that tower, even though he is quite aware of the folly and danger of being there, and he always falls. Yet he is sometimes like a fool on a mountain top, not afraid to fall, even though he knows his next step could be his last..
He is quite aware that his suffering is, in large part, karmic justice, because being a judgmental, critical fault-finder comes back on you. As we judge, we are judged, because we reap what we sow.
And that’s not the only reason Jesus said we should not judge others, because it can harm you and diminish you. It can change you in many ways, in your own eyes and in the eyes of others. And anger is even worse on anyone who self-righteously harbors it, and takes refuge in it. For while it can feel empowering, it inevitably leads to a fall, and to regret.
Unfortunately, he didn’t realize until very recently that he's been too harsh in judging. Most wrong-doers are not completely wrong, and most have redeeming qualities.
But he feels he deserves his lot not merely because he's been too harshly judgmental. He fells he has also been a covetous and willful fool, and there were times when he was a slothful and undisciplined student. He has often indulged in egocentric self-righteousness. And, he has many regrets. He regret all the times he was thoughtless and inconsiderate of others’ feelings, said things he should not have said, done things he should not have done, and failed to do things he should have done. He regrets his failures and mistakes – even those he committed unwittingly, or naively – and even though he knows God understands and forgives him, he is nevertheless deeply sorry for the impact his lack of consideration, failures, mistakes and offenses have had on others.
Still, while much of his suffering is part of his karma, on the other hand the prophets Isaiah and Jesus both mentioned that it is the will of God for the prophet and son of man to suffer.
However, it is not God that causes the suffering, but it is the will of God that any person who considers himself above others is to suffer for indulging in that egocentric level of self-esteem — that is, for having a superiority complex, or "getting on your high horse," or having a messianic complex. And, subconsciously, we all know that is wrong. The son of man too knows it is wrong, even though he had to fulfill the mission for which he was called and chosen. And that has been his dilemma to overcome, and his self-doubt and fear contributed to his mental anguish and physical problems and ailments.
The beneficial part of it is that most of the time his suffering has made him contrite, and grateful that he has far more than he thinks he deserves. Even though he left his first love, and even though he has been a fool, for the most part he is a humbled and contrite prodigal son of man, knowing that God particularly loves and welcomes all those who are humbled, contrite, and repentant.
He has been learning much and developing the message for 31 years now, and while he has had to overcome much in order to fulfill his mission, the most difficult and biggest barrier he had to overcome is to accept that the message could not come from his ego. It must come from above and beyond him.
He sees that unless the Spirit of truth formulates the message, it is formulated in vain. If it is self-serving, it is in vain. As Anthony Hopkins has said: "My life is none of my business." That’s very keen insight. Our life is meant to unfold naturally and flow like a river, where it will. We can’t push it, or force it, and that is why the wise Solomon advised us to trust not in our own understanding, but in God.
Of course, that does not mean we cannot or should not make plans, but it does mean that we sometimes need to let go and let God, and pray for the wisdom to recognize God’s will, which is in everyone’s best interests.God’s guidance comes by way of the Spirit of truth, sometimes in mysterious ways. There is no "voice" from out of the blue. The son of man says guidance comes sometimes from right in front of him or around him, and sometimes it comes from within, through revelation and realizations that "occur" to him when his mind is completely open and still, not preoccupied with thoughts or internal dialogue.
He's found that if he asks a question, it will be answered all in good time. And the best answers come not with struggle, but easily and smoothly, when least expected — just as revelations come. They are gifts, not achievements.He's found that the Spirit of truth does not boost our ego, nor does it enable anyone to rationalize their greed or self-importance or self-righteousness to justify their lust for personal power.
Instead, the Spirit of truth levels our ego when we allow it to become elevated, prunes it when we allow it to become inflated, and nurtures and encourages it when we feel ashamed and depressed. And, in that respect, the Spirit of truth is greater than our conscience, even though our conscience is well designed to keep us grounded, rational, temperate, and well behaved – if we follow it.
Many people are called by God, but few are chosen. That is because most who are called by God start off on a spiritual path but they get off track and go astray because they think they are becoming "holier than thou," or they think they are simply above it all and live without caring, with their head in the clouds – as he did before he learned and accepted what his mission is.
Nevertheless, even though thousands may have been called, at the end of every age God chooses one servant as messenger to bring humanity into remembrance of the eternal, universal truths that have been lost or ignored or forgotten or misunderstood.
Jesus of Nazareth was such a chosen one, and Jesus and Isaiah predicted the coming of the next one chosen, who now serves in the name of Israel and Jesse and Jacob and David and Jesus and Yeshua and Jehoshuah, as well as in the name of the Buddha and the Avatar and all other expected ones.
But he knows he is merely a messenger. He is not God, but he is God’s witness and servant. He is not the Light, but bears witness to the Divine Light which is God. And he is not the Ancient One, but bears the testimony of the Ancient One (aka the Christ-Avatar-Buddha-Saoshyant, Mahdi, etc.) who is within us and in heaven with God, above us all.
We all know that truth deep in our heart of hearts, but the human ego is very practiced and proficient at making us think we are good judges, and more wise than others. So there must be one chosen to bring you into remembrance of the truth. There must be one who issues the prophesied judgment, which is particularly appropriate and needed at this time, since false prophets and false shepherds are dividing humanity and leading their blind flocks so far astray.
Only God is the Holy One and Savior, and the son of man is able to serve God only because he realizes the fallibility of man, including himself, and fully acknowledges the infallibility and supremacy of God and the Ancient One in heaven.
Even so, few have believed him. So, after having his written work rejected for so long, even though millions of people all over the world knew of its existence and tens of thousands were at least partially aware of its message, in 2009 he finally realized that he must do my "first works." That is, perform and record his songs.
So, he tweaked and updated the lyrics a bit to reflect his current thinking, arranged and practiced his songs, and managed to record ten of them, even though it was very difficult. After all, he had not sung or played the guitar in 26 years, and his worsening congestive heart failure caused him to be short of breath and fatigued, and the arthritis in his hands sometimes made it hard to play. Also, he had to record on a little portable 4-track tape recorder in his home, and he had to be aware of the noise of dogs in the house or vehicles outside.
Still, after months of hard work, he was able to produce (and settle for) his first recordings of ten of his most relevant songs, on which he sang with two-part vocal harmony, accompanying himself with 6 string and 12 string guitars, clarinet, and other instrument sounds (such as bass, organ and drums) produced on an electric piano.
He is a singer because he fulfills prophecy not only as a writer, but as a singer of new songs.
"Sing unto him a new song; play skillfully with a loud noise. For the word of the Lord is right; and all his works are done in truth." – David's Psalm 33:3-4
"Son of man, my people hear your words, but they do not listen. With their mouths they express love, but their hearts are greedy for unjust gain. Indeed, to them you are nothing more than one who sings songs with a pleasant voice and plays an instrument well, for they hear your words but do not put them into practice. When all this comes true—and it surely will—then they will know that a prophet has been among them." – Ezekiel 33:31-33
"You shall have a song, as in the night when a holy solemnity is kept; and gladness of heart, as when one goes with a pipe to come into the mountain of the Lord, to the mighty One." (Isaiah 30:29) "Sing unto the Lord a new song." (Isaiah 42:10)
He wasn’t satisfied with the recordings, but he settled for them because he became ill, and felt he didn’t have long to live. Consequently, the recording are not anywhere as good as he would like, but it was the best he could do considering the circumstances. His hope is that he will live and be able to improve his performances and produce better recordings.
Apparently his health is precarious, but the feeling that his death is imminent is gradually lessening as his heart is softening, and he is feeling a bit better thanks to a new medication. And if his life is prolonged even further and he is able, he will re-record his songs to make them better. But the reasons he has not been able to yet are not merely physical. They are partly because his heart really isn’t in it yet.
He says he cannot sing with joy in the Spirit of love until he is freed from the weight of responsibility and failure, and he thinks he will feel that weight until it’s apparent that the number of people getting the message is growing, so we are hoping and praying that will happen soon.
In fact, we hope for a future in which he can go public, get a band together to help him make really good music, and perform for you all -- God willing.He also wants to to hear two songs he recorded back in 1982 on a cheap little one track portable tape recorder, before he began seriously writing the message. (You can listen to two of those songs, Sweet Surrender and The First and Last, because he wanted you to be able to hear them in case he is unable to re-record them with better equipment, instrumentation, and revised lyrics. They are available to hear along with the other songs he recorded in 2009, by clicking here.)
He says he is still plagued by fear, though. He is afraid he still has a lot to learn, afraid the message isn’t good enough, and afraid that he has said too much, or not enough. So he is hoping to fully understand the words of Solomon, who said that fear of God is the beginning of Wisdom.
That’s why the last verse of his song, All That Glitters, states: "Now I love a woman called Wisdom. She’s what I need. She showed me how I should sow this seed. So I just sing my song, like a one man band, and know all that glitters is right here at hand."
He would love to focus on the beauty and the love in this world, thank God he can still see it, and be the change he wants to see in the world.
You see, every time he sings his song, We Can Change Our World, he is reminded that this verse sometimes applies to him too:
"We must give love before love comes back, And we cannot give to others what we lack. So take some time out to find your inner self. Then you won’t keep your soul waiting on a shelf."
That applies to him too, because even though his mission was to deliver the promised judgment, on the other hand he must step down from that role. To continue would surely kill him, and to continue beyond what is necessary would be playing king. So he just lives day by day, trying his very best to put his self aside and follow the guidance of the Spirit within and above.
He tries to keep in mind that, as it is written, at a certain point God’s anger will cease.
"For I will not contend for ever, nor will I be always angry, lest the Spirit fail before me, and the souls which I have made. For the iniquity of his covetousness was I angry, and afflicted him. I hid me, and was angry, and he went on willfully in the way of his heart. [But] I have seen his ways, and will heal him. I will lead him also, and restore comforts unto him and to his mourners. I create the fruit of the lips. Peace, peace to him that is far off, and to him that is near. This says the Lord, and I will heal him. But the wicked are like the troubled sea, when it cannot rest, whose waters cast up mire and dirt. There is no peace, my God says, to the wicked." (Isaiah 57:16-21)
The son of man confesses he has indeed been a covetous, willful fool. God have mercy on him.
His path has been unique, and he is still hoping it will lead him to that place he imagines. But, whatever the future is for him, he hopes that his written work and his recorded songs give you hope, courage, and faith.
God bless you, and God bless the world.
(Last revised: 4/5/2011) -- (Back to the Main Message)